Eurovision Haiku #42: United Kingdom

British hopes rest on
Jade's big Moment and Baron
Greenback's ivories

Eurovision Haiku #41: Spain

Walking in the woods
In platform heels is really
Not recommended

The One That Got Away

Well, we're nearly at the end of the haiku for this year's Eurovision Song Contest. In fact, there are just two more to go, including one for the United Kingdom entry. Those will come tomorrow, but first I've decided that, for the sake of completeness, I should also do a haiku for the Eurovision entry that won't be heard in either of the semi-finals on 12 and 14 May, or in the final on 16 May. Namely the one that upset hosts Russia so much that they demanded the country in question field another entry - which that country flatly refused to do. They didn't want to put in, so they decided to pull out instead. Here it is:

Eurovision Haiku #0: Georgia



Harmless disco spoof
With comedy hair - clearly
Not political

Eurovision Haiku #40: Germany

Ricky Martin meets
John Barrowman - with big lips
He sings "Let it swing"

Eurovision Haiku #39: France

La chanteuse seule et
Le rouge a levres - pourquoi?
Parce qu'elle le vaut

Eurovision Haiku #38: Russia

No Dancing on Ice
This time, just wailing, flailing
And pounding the floor

Eurovision Haiku #37: Netherlands

Ageing boy band in
Bacofoil suits and Divine
Dancing at the back

Eurovision Haiku #36: Estonia

Like Bat for Lashes'
Sensible younger sister
With a slight twinkle

Eurovision Haiku #35: Ukraine

Upside-down woman
Channels Madonna badly
With fake moustaches

Eurovision Haiku #34: Albania

Girl in the snow and -
Knock me down with a feather -
More purple clothing

Eurovision Haiku #33: Moldova

Portrait comes to life
With mariachi trumpets and
Ruslana rip-off

Eurovision Haiku #32: Lithuania

A hat full of bling
Atop Baltic Timberlake
Who can do purple

Eurovision Haiku #31: Greece

Euro veteran
Leaves calling card all over
Greece in safe sex ad

Eurovision Haiku #30: Azerbaijan

Leee John lookalike
Shoots fire from his hands with girl
Living in a box

Eurovision Haiku #29: Hungary

Singer upgraded
Into dancing Cyberbeing
With faux Madonna

Eurovision Haiku #28: Slovenia

Silhouetted by
A screen, the leading lady
Appears very late

Eurovision Haiku #27: Denmark

Cute boy in nice scarf
Turns on the smoke machine for
AM-friendly rock song

Eurovision Haiku #26: Slovakia

Floating candles on
The piano as she shouts
And he hoarsely growls

Eurovision Haiku #25: Cyprus

Some Alanis angst
In a flowing Greek dress and
Some sadly missed notes

Eurovision Haiku #24: Norway

No Jan Teigen this
Hot young boy with his fiddle
And his High School folk